If you've ever been part of a gaming group that likes a laugh at least as much as a game, read this: theglen: 825 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG. A couple of good 'uns:

• 48. The elf is restricted to decaf for the rest of the adventure.
• 49. Not allowed to blow up the Death Star before that snotty farm kid gets his shot.
• 50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first.
• 55. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf.
• 56. No matter how well I roll, a squirrel cannot carry a horse and rider at full sprint.
• 74. My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live"
• 122. The paladin's alignment is not Lawful Anal.
• 126. Dwarves do not count as burrowing animals.
• 129. Not allowed to name my ship The Antidisestablishmentarianism.
• 181. I cannot quote Shakespeare in Crinos.
• 182. No figuring out the plot and killing the actual villain five minutes into the adventure.
• 216. There is an upper limit to the number of Bozo boostergangers I can get in a Volkswagon.
• 416. I will not substitute accuracy with enthusiasm.
• 448. I will not attempt to unionize the brutes.
• 476. The alignment of 2 years olds is not automatically Neutral Evil.
• 610. I cannot name my character Dwead Piwate Woberts.
• 612. Every time a PC takes himself out through his own stupidity does not let me sing the Oompa-Loompa song.

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