took my car into the insurance assessment place this morning and heard what i now consider to be magic words: "that will buff out". considering a piece of plywood slammed into the car at 100km/h it's incredible that there was no panel damage. what i thought were gouges in the paint turned out to be big swipes of wood embedded in the top layer of the glaze. there is some scratch damage on the pillar, but with some work it'll barely be noticeable.
of course i did feel like a doofus, but compared with a $400 excess, feeling like a doofus for a few minutes is a pretty affordable price. the car does still need to be polished/detailed to fix it properly, but i'm pretty sure i can get that done for less than $400 :)
now i have Crazy Watto stuck in my head: "is nothing! just a scratch! we can paint it over, buff it out ehhh!!"